#1 Google Search
Because they rule the universe and we’ll all be working for them eventually. Points off for making me learn what an algorithm is and how to spell it.
#2 Facebook
Because they are the number one source of cute cat photos in the world and a pretty good way to reach half the planet. Bonus points for having a geeky founder who’s like a smart ass version of Bill Gates.
#3 LinkedIn
Great for targeting B2B groups and individuals. Plus they have the highest income level of any major social media group so maybe they won’t miss it if I trick them out of some of their money.
#4 YouTube
They took all the great cat photos from Facebook and made them move! Plus, they are owned by Lord Google so they put your search results on crack.
#5 Twitter
This is the fastest, most efficient way for me to learn what all my friends had for lunch. Plus its trending topics and search results let me know instantly if an angry mob is buying torches and heading for my front door.
#6 Vimeo
The younger, prettier, sexier version of YouTube without all the evil backing and power of Lord Google. Selling epic beauty? Use Vimeo. Selling hand sanitizer? Use YouTube.
#7 Bing
Probably the coolest thing Microsoft has ever done. Truly a better search engine than Google, but hey, I’m not going to mess with Lord Google, are you?
#8 Pinterest
A visual explosion of gorgeous arts, crafts, and meals that none of us are talented enough to duplicate, but we can still dream.
#9 Vine
A true tribute to the shortening of attention spans. 6 seconds of pure entertainment because those hideous, old 30 second commercials are sooooooooo tedious.
#10 Google Plus
Probably the social networking site I like the least. Circles of friends are a little too Kum Bah Yah for me. But, hey, you know how I feel about messing with Lord Google.
#11 Tumblr
A blogging platform that lets you share all different types of content. Kind of like if YouTube, Pintrest and WordPress had a baby. Points off for spelling their name without an “e.”
#12 Flickr
A great collection of photography some of which you can actually use LEGALLY! What a concept! Points off for dropping the “e” out of their name. Hey, I warned you with Tumblr.
#13 Google Ads
I haven’t mentioned Lord Google in awhile and this is something near and dear to his heart. It’s where he makes his gazillions of dollars each year. Pay a flat rate or pay per click. Lord Google doesn’t care as long as you pay to access his millions of minions.
#14 Tweetdeck
For all its search power and zillions of followers, Twitter is still pretty clunky to use. Tweetdeck makes it much more user friendly to manage and semi-automate multiple Twitter accounts. BUT Twitter bought Tweetdeck so who knows how long before they screw it up.
#15 Hootsuite
A different flavor of Tweetdeck. Not sure it’s any better or any worse. BUT it has the advantage of NOT being owned by Twitter so I may have to make a switch if Twitter keeps “helping” Tweetdeck.
#16 Bit.ly
A great little company that shortens those ridiculously long URLs into something useable and Tweetable. Also pretty good at analytics for all you number crunchers out there.
#17 Ow.ly
Pretty much the same thing as Bit.ly, but I think it’s a little easier to use. Plus, if you’re posting on Hootsuite, you gotta go with Ow.ly, right?
#18 Foursquare
A fun geo-location social media tool that lets you post where you are, what you’re doing and leave tips about the place you visited. Also let’s you know if any of your hottie friends are in the vicinity so you can be a more efficient stalker.
#19 Slideshare
For all of you who just can’t get enough PowerPoint presentations at work, this is for you. Pretty easy to use and Lord Google seems to like it… this week.
#20 Email
Maybe you’ve heard of it! I know it’s old school but this crap really works. Especially nice if you team up with Mail Chimp, Constant Contact, or Exact Target.
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